Coping with depression after divorce for men can be a tricky thing when the world seems to have turned against you. I know a few weeks after my divorce, once I realised this was real and not going away I fell into a deep pit of sadness that it seemed would never end. The same is true for so many men, even if they wear a smile or laugh about it when you see them. In the hearts of many men, a sadness that threatens to overwhelm them exists once the woman they pledged their life too says they no longer love them and it is over.
This is just a stage of grief over the loss of your marriage however and you will get through it. The problem for some men is that this depression drags on and on and on. In fact, some men fall so deeply into depression it screws over their career, their relationships with their friends and family, or even hospitalization in some cases. The trick is to come through this stage as fast as you can. You need to give yourself time to grieve and be sad, but you also need to be looking to the future and how good that can be.
A few tips on coping with depression after divorce that worked for me:
- Stay active – Exercise is important for a fit body, but you would be amazed at how important it is to keep a healthy mind as well. No need to become a fitness junkie of course, but don’t let yourself go. Even if you feel like total shit, force yourself to go for a run, cry while lifting weights, it does not matter, just don’t sit there on the couch moping or it will become worse.
- Don’t Isolate Yourself – You know what, you do need some time to be alone for a little while. However, too much isolation causes your mind to lose perspective on life and makes you feel lonely and abandoned. Make sure you regularly catch up with friends and family. Apologise if you seem down but don’t stay away because of your unhappiness or confusion. Your links with other people are one of the most fundamental parts of being happy.
- Understand This is Not the End – This is the hardest part. Coming to an acceptance of divorce is the final stage but before this you must at least see light at the end of the tunnel. Your life will not end because of your divorce and neither will your ex’s. You must at least start planning a few things for the future, start cultivating a few dreams for your new single life and start taking some action towards them. A single step towards the positive will make a huge impact when recovering from divorce.